You’re asking your date to reveal personal information, just because.While leading with questions like these might work in a context in which both parties have agreed to take part in an experiment, asking a stranger personal questions in real life is called “prying.” Sometimes, a date will be caught off guard by your confidence and forwardness, sure, but unless you’re charming as hell, they’re likely to feel like they’re under the microscope. Still, Ariely’s initial point is well taken: first date conversation that sticks strictly to the basics is boring, and you might be cheating yourself out of an opportunity to really get to know someone because you were afraid to take a risk. So you studied journalism in college, but now you’re in music management?

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“We found a general trend supporting the idea that people like to maintain boring equilibrium at all costs,” writes Ariely in a recent Ask Men article.

“When people are free to choose what type of discussions they want to have, they often gravitate toward an equilibrium that is easy to maintain but one that no one really enjoys or benefits from.” Ariely is referring to a recent study of online daters in which he observed trends in the subject matter of messages on dating sites (which he generally found to be BOOOORING).

Key goals of a first date are to (a) see if you have a connection, and (b) find out if you and your date have any major areas of incompatibility. Why: Does the person have strong feelings or are they more easygoing and with milder feelings.

We’re wired so that once we start to develop an emotional attachment this is hard to break away from. Why: Different vacation preferences or amounts of vacation time can be a major source of ongoing incompatibility. Why: This question helps establish if your date has a positive or negative attitude? Why: Helps you find out the person's preferences and also helps you establish if the person has any free time or if they're a workaholic.

But isn’t there some middle ground between being a douche and being a dud? Do you feel like the part of you that loves stories is fulfilled?

” This approach shows that you’re listening and you’re interested in your date. It gives your date a chance to elaborate on their story instead having a fill-in-the-box type conversation. ” your date to exhaustion like some overgrown three-year-old with a liquor ID.

But the motivations behind the choices a person makes tell a more interesting story than the facts alone. ” is more likely to yield a thoughtful response than “Did you come here for college?

” Of course, their answer might simply be “I came here for college.” Don’t get stuck.

I don’t have any suggestive pics or content on my profile.. Never mind the 3 date rule, you suddenly find yourself wondering if maybe a 3 text rule needs to be implemented before sex is brought up. It’s insulting and it’s a turnoff and when you’re dating online, it seems to be happening all the time. I hear that you want to feel respected and seen as a woman. Is talking about sex off the table until the first date? I get that you want to educate him about what really interests a woman.

____You haven’t even had your first date yet and he’s already asking you your favorite position. It’s nearly every single time you start a conversation with a prospective date. Still want to educate him on what turns a woman on?

There aren’t too many men who have been able to boast about the perfect fairytale romance with a woman, especially when their conversation started with something like “If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?