You must first ask yourself if you’ve met the girl before.

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When there are intermingling finances, bills to be paid and considerations to be made about saving for the future, money can become a source of conflict.

In a healthy relationship, each partner feels like they have a say in decision-making, even when it comes to money.

Here’s the definitive script on how to talk to your partner about money — without nagging or making them feel defensive.

I’ve included the exact, word-for-word phrases to use, along with the exact information you need.

Sure, you and your boyfriend or girlfriend might have had an occasional chat about money. ” (Of course, you already know the answer from page 220.) Then, a few days later, tell them you’ve been doing some more research. Essentially, you want to work through this book with your partner.

But when you’re getting serious—whether you’re recently engaged or moving in together or just at a point where your decisions start to really affect each other—it’s important to spend some time talking about your money and your financial goals. ” If you don’t get an answer, try this: “Okay, hey, I have another question . “I picked up a book on personal finance and it had some really interesting stuff in it,” you can say. Spend some time talking about your attitudes toward money. Your immediate goal should be to set up a few short- and long-term savings goals, such as a year-end trip and/or something a little more major like buying a car or putting a down payment on a house.* * * Remember how painful those “Define the Relationship” conversations were back in college? ” I guarantee you they’ll have an opinion on that—and although you’re sacrificing yourself, at least it’ll get the conversation started. (One of my friends has horrible money- management skills, which is confusing because she’s so disciplined and smart.Now imagine you have to sit down and talk about money while wishing you could use the sweat from your forehead to drown yourself. After a few days, ask for their financial advice again: “What do you think—should I pay off my credit card or my student debt? After years of knowing her, one day she told me that her dad had declared bankruptcy twice, which helped me understand the irrational way she approached money.) The most important goal of this conversation is to set up a plan to manage your money, including your credit cards, bank accounts, budget, and investment accounts.Maybe this is enough to buy necessities, but it might not be — and your partner always checks the receipts.Money can be a stressful factor in any relationship.In a relationship where some form of abuse is present — whether physical or emotional — it is not uncommon that an abusive partner extends their power and control into the area of finances.