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Even though I kept my internet life seperate from my personal life in terms of personal information.

I found myself creating all these insecure thoughts that it kept me from opening up to my girlfriend.

Naturally, I got into cybering there after, thats sex chat. At the time I didn't have a girlfriend, so none of this stuff really mattered.

Anyways around this time, I began roleplaying and I remember I began to get into all these 'MILF' fantasies. It was until I got a girlfriend and I continued to write this stuff behind her back on chatrooms that I started feeling really guilty. I began to notice how all this shit started to impact my daily life.

Eventually 3 years into the relationship, i felt far too guilty and ended the relationship. I come up with some twisted fantasy that shes cheating on him.

There were other factors like compatibility but I found myself more on those chatrooms rather then talking to her. Its like an automatic habit that I find MILF or Cheating Wife porn too. If its really good, i get a craving to write about it. I feel disgusted by myself, I sometimes cry as to why i do this to myself. Yet in the privacy of my home I have such cruel and disgusting thoughts.

This led to me reading alot of erotica, roleplaying and watching porn. I began to have insecurities about my relationships.

Especially in regards to my girlfriend and friends.

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